even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
