i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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