when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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