i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
she looked like the before picture.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
