"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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