what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
