can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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