after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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