Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
