remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
