I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
my sisters under your porch take her home
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
