We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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