I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
