When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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