Midget sex pt 2 tonight
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
