Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
