we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
