the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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