Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
