Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
