Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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