just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
