White coat. Heels.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
