just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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