I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
