pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
