I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
