Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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