why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
