We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
