I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
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