so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
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