I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
