i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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