If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
