She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
