ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
