she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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