i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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