brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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