Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
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I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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