He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
