Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I can't trust your balls anymore.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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