It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
