Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
