omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
