One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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