does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
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I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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