just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
