id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize