i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
