HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
