Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
