As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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