Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm getting married
To pizza
My dick has a subreddit
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
