Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
