So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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