i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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