that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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