Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Randomize
