Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
