I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
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