So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
