is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
jump out the window naked night went bad
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