..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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