I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
