Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
