Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
