adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
