So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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