omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize