every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize