He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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