apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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